King of Anything

All My Life I've Tried To Make Everybody Happy
While I Just Hurt And Hide
Waiting For Someone To Tell Me It's My Turn To Decide

Who Cares If You Disagree?
You Are Not Me
Who Made You King Of Anything?
So You Dare Tell Me Who To Be?
Who Died And Made You King Of Anything?

the PLease? project

So, there I was...
...and there it was...
PLease? It took me a minute to comprehend what it was I had had actually just seen. It was one of those moments that I have had all too often, but today was different. Today I took action. Although I was camera-less at the very instant, I doubled back and picked it. PLease? It brought so many different thoughts and visions to my inner creative being. I knew that it was there for me to take advantage of...it had called me out, and today I listened. I'm not sure what it is exactly that I am hearing, but it was strong enough for me to peddle around downtown Boise while holding this for everyone to read. I began to think that people might think that I am homeless and looking for a handout, but I'm not and I wasn't. I was just compelled to put it on display. Even when I was in a situation were someone could have asked me what it was all about, they didn't...and to be honest I'm not sure what I would have said. PLease? PLease? The more I thought about what it was and how it came to be with me the more I thought about how I want to incorporate into different settings and take a picture of it. I believe that is why it was meant to be today...why I acted for the first time on an impluse to stop, pick it up and take it home with me.

This is, of course, the first photo where I have used "PLease?". The scene is my raised garden bed. On the right is a jalapeno pepper plant (with a green pepper plant behind that) and on the left are garden beans. In the middle are two green peppers and a pile of carrots that didn't make it. Why here? Why is this the first photo? It was the first mental image that I had after PLease? came into my life. It was then that I decide that this sign was going to guide me...I will go where it wants to go. Nothing about it will be forced. It will be instinctual based the calling that I hear.

This could be it...or there could be more, I just don't know...

resistance

The donuts (doughnuts?) laid out on display in the break room look really good.  Personally, that is the biggest issue that I need to conquer...their appearance.  So tempting, but do I want them?  No, not really.  Do I need them?  Absolutely not.  Journaling this and put it out there gives me the sense of self control.  I am holding myself accountable for the choices that I make. 

 

Some people like to make life a little tougher than it is, but it doesn't have to be...just be strong.

finding me

Ahhh, this is going to be an interesting trip.

I have always wanted to be dedicated to the craft of writing. For as long as I can remember I have doubted my cognitive ability to formulate thoughts that are worthy of writing...well, no more. In order for me to feel the power of confidence, I have to put forth the effort...I have to practice and not be afraid of failure. I am no longer willing to sit back and wait for something special to come to me...I am the only one that can make things happen for me.

I started this process of enlightenment last fall (2008). I can now admit that I wasn't completely sold on the idea of pursuing another college degree. I was lazy and very complacent with the formal knowledge that I had already acquired. I had a difficult time seeing myself going through the motions of "going to school"...the lectures, the note-taking, the study time, the homework. All of these things, compounded by the fact that I am much older than the average college student, lead me away from attempting what I thought would be a nearly impossible feat. With encouragement from my wife, I made the commitment to become a college student.

It is funny that I began my travelling down one path and almost instantly knew that I was heading in the wrong direction. The feeling of wanting more and needing to explore the questions that consume me had finally surfaced and I was unable to deny it. I warmly embraced the change in course and I am now very happily sailing towards the horizon that has be calling for me my entire life. Now, as for those questions, I realized that their answers would certainly not be found in the design of a building or in the depths of some engineering calculation that has most likely been worked long before me. I am tuning myself into the signal that is my fellow mankind. I am curious and intrigued by how/what/why we, as humans, do the things that we do. This overwhelming sensation of something better happened within the first few minutes of Sociology 101.

I will continue this line of thought at a later date